September 28, 2016

The Christianville Spirit: ANTs in My Head




The Christianville Spirit
The Spirit that Encourages
September 28, 2016-TCS # 513

Happy Autumn, My Readers! Sorry Guys, I forgot to wish you a Happy Autumn last week. So, Happy Autumn anyway. I like that word, Autumn, it actually sounds better than Fall. Anyway, on to This Week’s Newsletter. So, when I scroll through My Facebook News Feed, Interesting Stories pop up (I call them “Push Backs” because I send them to Safari and I read them after I get done with Facebook) that I find to Read. Most are about Travel or Romance. But, This One got to Me. It was an Article from a Special Needs Advocate Blog called “The Mighty”. This Article was about What It is like with High-Functioning Anxiety. That basically means that I can do a lot by Myself but, We have Anxieties to go with it. I am thinking that Anxiety is a common trait of People with Special Needs and that includes PTLS. Don’t get me Wrong, I Love PTLS, I Love having PTLS, I would never trade it for The World. Do I wish that There were Certain Attachments (or Clauses) that I would edit or get rid of? Sure I would. The Biggest Attachment I would want to get rid of, is You guessed it, Anxiety. Anyway, This Blog post on “The Mighty” explained in My Head, Perfectly what it is like with Anxiety being a High-Functioning Person with Special Needs. It mentioned also to Blog about It to Help You, as well as Others Understand, and That is what I am doing. So, When I am Anxious, according to My Mom, You can usually tell. If I am Anxious about a Certain Event, I get different ranges of symptoms, like a little Gagging (when I was little or in extreme situations), Throwing Up (in real extreme situations), Sweating, or Digestive Issues. Usually, My Mom can tell I am Anxious because I have a “Look” on My Face that says it all. We call it the “Something is bothering me/Face of Fear/I’m going to be Sick” Face. But, What about Anxiety Stress, I believe that The Article was referring to? Well, when I am stressed I tend to act different than What I normally do. I am more Quiet when I am normally Talkative, I ask a lot of questions, I get Headaches more often, Most of This Stuff I have written about before, and then Something that I have never mentioned is Something I like to called “My Curiosity thoughts”. Basically, They are, as My Mom says, “Intrusive Thoughts” that Everyone has normally, that usually goes in and then Pass Through, like how new parents worry about dropping a baby while they are holding them. They know they will not do it, but the thought “Pops” in their head. But, For Me, It “Pops in” and then I obsess about it, and Then I have to let it Out somehow. It really bothers me when these Thoughts Pop in. I know they will not happen, but They sure are Bothersome. The Best Way I have found to let them out is either Blurting it Quickly, Say “Sorry Mom”(even though my mom did not even hear what I said), Hug, and Move on or I say it in a Joke form. Other Times, I would tell it to “Shut Up” and hope it goes away, and Get it to Pass Through. It can range anywhere from “Should I say or do this?”, and Not-So-Nice Words. Now, I would never actually do or say any of those things because I have No Mean Bone in My Body and I hate when They come in. It really Annoys Me when I have a “Curiosity Thought”! I have realized that When I am Anxious about Something that is going to happen that I am Not sure about, They start to show up more than I would like them to. I am wondering also if I am Imitating things that I see or hear about. Considering that I watch The News everyday to hear about What is going on in The World, which I use to Teach me things about How The World works, it is not good. I am struggling to even write this because It is hard to explain What is in My Head. My Mom looked it up one time about The Thoughts and Told me that It is common for those that have Autism to have those “Curiosity Thoughts”, but I read that Those with Autism tend to follow through with The Thoughts, where I would not. It makes me wonder though, It is a Little-Known but, Common Theory for those PTLS as well. The Article mentioned that You tend to have Self-Damning (If You will) Thoughts like Your not good enough, Your a Bad Friend, Your a Loser, Your Pathetic and It is basically Energy that needs to get out somehow. They say to Exercise, Walk, Run, or Just talk it out. But, Not to go all Psychology on You, but, Those Kinds of Thoughts are Common for Everyone. It is how “The Enemy” (as I explained in a Previous Newsletter) tries to Get you, to Upset You, and Pull You away from Your Destiny, that is his (It sounds better) job. I am thinking “It” should get a New Job. I often worry that I will have those Thoughts even in My Future, with My Future Wife around. I am sure that She will change that, at least I would think. I will always have some kind of Anxiety but, I would rather get rid of that one. All in all, I hope that You understand that It is Hard to get what is in My Head out for You can Understand.





Thanks for Reading The Christianville Spirit. We all have ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) in Our Head, Get a Hug and Let them go.

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