August 30, 2017

The Christianville Spirit: A Conversation about Anxiety-Answering a Parent's Question

The Christianville Spirit
The Spirit that Makes You Wonder
August 30th, 2017-TCS # 559

Be Blessed, My Readers! Be Blessed?! That is a New and Different Greeting! Well, Before I get to My Newsletter I want to take a Moment to Mention Something. So, Be Blessed, It has a Meaning. You See, I am sure that You already know this but, There is a Huge Flooding event from a Hurricane occurring in Our PTLS Capitol City of Houston. It is from a Hurricane that I have dubbed it both “The Drunken Hurricane” (It’s Path was going in Circles) and “A Very Overwhelmed and Tired Two-Year-Old Hurricane with Tantrum that Won’t Stop”(Slow Moving Storm and Stuck in One Area with a Ton of Rain). But, In all Seriousness here, It is Really Bad down there, like Worse than Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Harvey will likely live in Houston’s History forever. Now, I want to assure you that Yes, Our Respective Doctors, Dr. Potocki and Dr. Lupski are Okay and They are Safe. It hurts to know that Our PTLS Capitol is going through that. So, Be Blessed. It is means to One, Be Blessed You are not in it and Two, Be Blessed that If You live down there, that You got out and You are Okay. People of Houston, as A Representative of Potocki-Lupski Syndrome (A Unique Chromosome Duplication that was named in Your City). Please know that We stand beside You in any Love and Support that You need. I am Very Proud of Our State of Texas because we came together to help each other not Hurt each other, Love not Hate. We love You, Houston!
So, with that said, on to This Week’s Newsletter! So, After I wrote a Newsletter Last Week about Anxiety and Being Overwhelmed, A PTLS Family Member asked a Really Good Question that really made me think. So, I am going to answer it by doing a Remix of A Newsletter I wrote about it. The Question was that Her PTLSer is one that wants to know Every Detail of An Event coming up and then, asks about it repeatedly. As The PTLSer does so, It increases their Anxiety before The Event so, They ask “Would it be easier to not know about Something until the Last Minute or would that make the situation worse?” They really Floored Me there! Because that is a Really Good Question to think of asking. And, It is a Very Challenging one at that! So, I am going to try My Best to provide an Answer via One of My Newsletters. This Newsletter was written on October 24th of 2012 (Refer to Newsletter 322). I hope this Answers Your Question. So, I included a Little background from another Rerun of This Newsletter to help you understand.

October 24, 2012, Just before My Brother’s 24th Birthday. On This Day in My Life, I had gotten home from The Dentist’s Office and I was wanting to share My Experience about My Anxiety. Anxiety, By the way, is Very Typical of PTLS Children (One trait, that if Given the Chance, I would take away; All others I would Leave) and Hopefully, This will help you handle it when It occurs. As They say in TV and Radio, Roll it Guys...

So, Last Thursday, My Mom and I had one of the best talks we’ve had in a while. However, as My Uncle Bruce would call it, “The context of it” wasn’t that fun and happening at the time it was happening. Now, don’t worry it’s not bad, I promise! You See, about 2 weeks ago, My Mom told me that I had a Dentist Appointment on Thursday, The 18th. She let me know so I would be prepared and not spring up on me like “Oh, by the way...We’re going to The Dentist today.” Now, the reason she told me is because having predictability is essential to us PTLSers because we don’t focus without it. Not only that but, the Anxiety increases as well. On the other hand, when I know about it, I obsess about it and I get anxious about it. So, usually when I’m told in advance, I get nervous and fret about it until the day of. Bottom line, I’m nervous the most the night before, the morning of, and when the event starts. So, that brings me to This Afternoon (it was Thursday when I wrote this). So, I was nervous as usual and we discovered that the appointment was an hour later than she thought, so we had time to talk, but it also gave me more time to be worried. Here is how the talk began. You see, Everyone, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE having PTLS and I wouldn’t give it up for anything, Nothing! However, there are parts of the behaviors that I would love to get rid, that one being Anxiety and, that was one of the first thing I told My Mom. So, she was wondering if I sit during this extra hour of waiting, and do nothing, does it help with my Anxiety? Unfortunately, No. In fact it only makes it worse because I obsess about it even more, because I know, wether I sit still and Watch TV or check Facebook, whatever the event is, it is still going to happen. So, she suggested that we hop in the car, start driving toward the Dentist’s Office and keep moving. So, we started discussing, how I feel about my anxiety and methods on how I can get through it and how she could help me get through it. This has always been something she wondered about if she handled me the right way when I was a Child. As far as the sitting still or delaying it, that only makes me frustrated because it just means the event in question is still in your face and it’s not going to move unless you go through it. So, then comes the question of “should I tell you about a week before or be like, Surprise! We’re doing This” (in this case, “You and I are going to The Dentist, right now.”) I told her that it would be a Defiance of Trust to me if she didn’t give me enough warning. Remember though that My Mom and I have a good relationship, I tell her what’s going on with me and she tells me some of the stuff going on with her. So, how would I tell the difference when someone says, “Let’s get in the Car”; does it mean that your going out to Dinner, to The Movies maybe, on a Drive (which I love to do), or going to The Doctor to get your blood drawn. So I told her, that I have to know about it because I need predictability and predictable outcomes. Now, It may make me nervous, physically sick to my stomach and fret to no end, but it’s better for me to know than be surprised with something like that. The only thing is that it is frustrating is to know I am going to get sick (which is very ugly, loud and embarrassing) to know that you can’t get around it. So, then the problem comes, when the event happens, what do you (the parents & Kids) do? Well, that’s the part that gets me emotionally confused (and it had me very emotional talking about). Whether you ease into it slowly or be out front about it, just make me do it. When it comes to Doctors, Dentists, and Needles, the best thing is just do it, be direct, but with a gentle firmness that gets it over with quickly. Once I get through it, I am fine. Now, I know PTLS Parents are wondering, “But, I don’t want to force it on them!”. Well, the thing is, you don’t have to force but, you have to push a little bit. I mean, as I told My Mom, “If you didn’t push while I was worried and getting sick to my stomach, then I wouldn’t have given a Love Note to Ali and she wouldn’t have known that I liked her” Other examples, I would never have learned to swim, go down a slide, snow ski, or performed in the Second Grade play at School (all which I really liked and didn’t want to stop after I did it), go into the 4th grade Economic Fair (because they had “Gak” and the sight of this makes me throw up), I would have never went out on a date, Went to Homecoming, had a Girlfriend, had a job or I would have never even have met My PTLS “Sister” (yes, it’s been awhile since I mentioned her). Now, I know your also wondering about the whole dentist appointment thing went, well I have an easy Gag Reflex and I was afraid that I was going to gag when I had to open your mouth. I do not like peoples hands and dental things in my mouth, so when they do I gag and get sick. However, a positive note, I didn’t gag this time, because Julie (the Name of the Dental Hygienist) was very nice and talked me through it, they had a T.V. for me to watch CNN, as well as the fact that she was very pretty. So the appointment went fine. I should mention though that these anxieties lasts until the event starts happening and then I start to calm down and have a good time. Anyway, the bottom line here is that your child can do a long list of things, but sometimes though, we need a little loving push to get through the anxiety we have and we’ll get it done.

All in All, remember that it depends on what the event is will tell if the PTLSer will be anxious about it and be able to get through it, no matter how hard you push them, but try anyway. This is what My Mom did and it worked.  

Thanks for Reading The Christianville Spirit. Why do people eat Desserts when they are Stressed? Because Desserts is Stressed spelled backwards.  

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