The Christianville Spirit
The Spirit that Keeps Learning with Hope and Resilience
December 4th, 2018-TCS # 617
Happy December, My Readers! Wow! Can You believe that The Year is almost over?! And, What a Year it has been, but More on that after Christmas. It is that Time of Year again though! It is My Favorite Time of Year, The Month of December filled with Christmas Cheer, Christmas Music, Christmas Lights, and above all, Christmas Magic (And, Believe Me, It can happen!). I know I Write The Following Statement Every Year but, I Love December because of One Holiday, Christmas. I do however have a bit of a Different Swing to My “Happy December” Newsletter. So, This December and Christmas Holiday Season, I have been getting Creative with Things including My Christmas Display. So, This Newsletter is going to be No Exception. So, Let Me Start with This Statement
My Name is Christian Smith-Centeno and I believe in Santa Claus! Wow! It takes a Man to say that! It takes a Man to say at My Age that He still believes in Santa Claus. In Fact, I challenge you to say the Same Thing.
So, I have talked about Santa Claus before (Refer to “Where is The North Pole?” Newsletter). This Year, We are taking a Different Direction with It. So, This Begins with a Story. So, My Mom and I were watching The End of The Christmas Special, Santa Claus is coming to Town and We were looking for The Next Thing to Watch when I noticed that Another Christmas Special was on, called Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer. Then, My Mom and I had a Funny Discussion about That Song and How It actually sounds. Honestly, of All of The Christmas Carols that We sing Every Year, This has to be The Funniest as well as The Most Morbid Christmas Song to Hear or Sing. You See, As I mentioned in “The Meaning of MMMBop” Newsletter, often times, People sing The Lyrics of Songs, but They never really Pay Attention to The Lyrics of What They are Singing. So, Just like I analyzed The Meaning of MMMBop. For The Next 3 Newsletters, I want to Share with You, The Songs and Meanings of Some of My Favourite Christmas Songs in 3-Newsletter Mini-Series that I am calling Analyzing Christmas Carols. So, Without Further a due, This is My Christmas Mini-Series Analyzing Christmas Carols. This Song is “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy.
The Song Starts with Two “Young” Guys singing about How Grandma got ran over by a Reindeer in Detail. “Grandma Got Ran over by a Reindeer” The Song explains how Grandma as walking Home from The Family’s House on Christmas Eve and Mentioning what Musicians call “The Body of The Song”. “You can say There’s no such things as Santa, but, as for Me and Grandpa, We Believe”. The Song continues, “She’d been Drinking too Egg Nog” (Which Some People do at Christmas Time) “And, We begged her not to go”; “But, She forgot her Medication and She staggered out The Door into The Snow”. Question, Why didn’t Grandpa Stop Her?! or Go and Get her Medication. I wonder. The Song Continues, “When We found her Christmas Morning, at The Scene of The Attack, She had hoof-prints on Her Forehead and Incriminating Claw Marks on Her Back” and Then, It goes to The Body of The Song before continuing. It makes me wonder though, How could The Family not hear The Jingle Bells getting Louder, and Grandma most likely Yelling. Also, Why did it take until Christmas Morning to Find Her? Didn’t Grandpa want to know where His Wife was? If She had hoof prints on Her Forehead and Her Back, that means The Reindeer hit her, knocked her over, She rolled around a few Times, and They trampled on Her Back. How Horrific is That?! that sounds Painful. There had to Blood Everywhere. What a Horrible Death! Hopefully, The Egg Nog kept her from Feeling Everything!
The Song continues, “We are all so Proud of Grandpa; He’s been taking this so Well; See Him in there watching Football; Drinking Beer and Playing Cards with Cousin Mel” Okay, so Grandpa is over here acting like Nothing is Wrong. Perhaps, dealing with it in His Own Way, but, He is drinking too. It could have been Him! The Song mentions that It is not Christmas without Grandma, The Fact that The Family is Dressed in Black (Due to Mourning) and that, They wonder if They should open Grandma’s Gifts or Send them back. The Crowd in The Background says Send Them Back. (I Agree!) Although, I wonder now, What would be in those Gifts. The Body of The Song comes next and then, We continue, “Now The Goose is on The Table, and The Pudding made of Fig” (Trying My Neighbour’s Fig, were Good, I am wondering how Good that would be) “And, The Blue and Silver Candles! That would just have matched the Hair in Grandma’s Wig” (Oh Boy! Blue and Silver Candles looking like Grandma’s Hair; So, Maybe She was a Dallas Cowboy Fan but, What a Reminder of The Event!) “I’ve warned all My Friends and Neighbors; Better Watch Out for Yourselves!” “They should Never give a License to a Man who drives a Sleigh and Plays with Elves.” (Now, that sounds a Little Creepy!) The Song continues into The Body of The Song before The Last of What Musicians call “the Last Stanza” with Everyone singing behind Re-Explaining The Whole Story how Grandma got ran over by a Reindeer, Walking home from The Family’s House on Christmas Eve, You can say that There is No such thing as Santa, as for Me and Grandpa we believe and ending with a Deep Voice saying “Merry Christmas!”. Okay, so Thought here, I assumed that Santa always stays Above Ground, going from Roof to Roof, or Landing at Special Houses and Clicking his Magic Fingers for Gifts to appear. I mean, again, This Theory of Santa not stopping at Literally Every House on Earth in One Night, Logically..Really! That 7 Billon Houses in the Entire World. And, He would not stop for a Grandma that He just ran over! Isn’t that called a Hit and Run?!
So, with that said, Perhaps, Santa saw Grandma down there walking down The Street, and thought “Bonus Points!”. And, Who knows? Perhaps Santa might had drinking too much Egg Nog as Well. I give My Condolences to The Family of Grandma. Maybe Next Year, Santa will be More Careful.
All in all, Be Careful if You Drink Egg Nog on Christmas Eve, Don’t Walk Home where Santa can run You down, Take an Uber or a Lyft.
Thanks for Reading The Christianville Spirit. Never Drink and Drive...A Sleigh!
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